Decisions

I'm slowly realising how scary decisions can be. I'm petrified at making a decision, simply because I know how every big decision has the ability to make your life completely change its course.

And how could we tell which is the right path to take so early in life? Suddenly, I feel as though I've been making a series of mistakes in making choices in the past year. I was offered a job right after my graduation but I've already pre-booked my tickets to Ireland and Europe for 3 months, to spend time with my friends and my loved ones there. Afterall, I've been studying all my life, I thought I deserved that break and I really do miss them. The job though, wasn't willing to wait for me, which I totally understand. I went on for my break and came back jobless. Back then, I thought it was a good choice, but was it really?

Then I got offered a couple of interviews. One of which was a good organisation recommended to me by a friend. The bosses seemed to like me, even explicitly said they wanted to hire me, only to have things screwed up when they lost my portfolio (which they've found only recently), and the upper management suddenly decided not to hire anyone and even retrenched people in the company due to the lack of funds.

So I was left hanging again. Finally, I had another job offer from this very big organisation, which would definitely add a lot of weight in my resume. After going through a series of interviews with them, and tests, they claimed I was hired. Claimed. I've yet to see a single contract yet. When they told me I was hired, I was estatic of course. I even rejected two temporary positions at a well known production company and radio statio (because I figured, a permanent position is better, and the benefits of this permanent position outweighed all others.) only to be left hanging on a thin thread again, seeing they keep delaying my 'deployment' with no exact estimate of time I have to wait. You can say, it's just my luck, but the fact that I've rejected two temporary positions, and now seemingly left with nothing again, doesn't make me feel very good about myself. It's been making me feel terrible. It's almost getting tougher and tougher to be positive but I know drowning in self pity will not get me anywhere. At times like this, it's so tempting and so easy to give up. But I shall not be tempted, and I shall be easy. So I've started sending out cover letters and resume to companies again but I'm losing hope of coming across 'real professionalism' in huge corporations.

I don't have the luxury of depending on my parents or anyone while waiting for a job. Money is depleting or should I say, have depleted if not for some kind souls still giving me money on Hari Raya. You can only imagine how it will affect my self esteem if my luck doesn't pick up any sooner. I'm someone who hates the dependency of people in welfare states. So you could only imagine how I'd hate having to live off anyone. And it's quite amazing how the new year is silently creeping up on us and is only a month away. What a complete waste of time.

Money isn't everything but it will buy me a plane ticket to be with my partner again. Money has been the reason I've always come closest to ending the relationship in the last 3 years. Which is why sometimes I wonder - Have we succeeded in this long distance relationship so far? Or have we failed in giving it up? I could never have done any of this if it was with anyone else. He's been so patient and understanding, I've come to realise it'll be very selfish of me to even spare a thought of ending this beautiful relationship... I'm sidetracking again. :(

It'll be his turn to come down next year. I wish things will be different then and my 21st year will turn out to be something worth remembering.

Work culture

What I've noticed in the Central Business District in the evenings - Mondays to Thursdays, from 5-6pm, the Western expats would form the majority of the people in the MRT stations. Basically, most of them leave promptly at the end of their shift. You'll see more Asians casually strolling out of their offices at 8.30pm.

On Fridays though, the Asian workers tend to rush off for family end-of-week gatherings etc, while the majority of the Western expats would linger around a little longer, crowding the pubs in the area by 8.30pm.

Amusing differences in work cultures.

Leap Year (2010)

Riyan told me to check out the trailer for the American film Leap Year, sometime ago. It's set to be released in 2010 - I'm presuming sometime in February. (Ok duh, leap year).

Once I told him I was done watching it, he exclaimed, "It's so bad, isn't it? It feels like I'd just finished watching the entire film."

Go watch the trailer and you'll get the point. :D

Swiss bans Minarets

Completely unnecessary and even deemed extremely racist poster of the campaign banning Minarets in Switzerland. Photo of a Muslim woman in a Burka' with a Swiss flag and minarets in the shape of missiles.

The right-wing party claimed "Supporters of the proposed ban say minarets represent the growth of an alien ideology and legal system that have no place in the Swiss democracy."

Well, 'democracy' does not mean promoting stigma against any one religion or culture and breeding intolerance. Democracy does not mean cornering a minority and threatening to destroy their way of life.

"Alien ideology?" This alien ideology or simply put, Islam, has been around much longer than the modern people of Switzerland. "Banning minarets is as good as banning the cross on a Christian place of worship. They're just symbols", a friend of mine said.

"Posters have appeared in many Swiss cities showing a dark, almost menacing figure of a woman, shrouded from head to foot in a black burka. Behind her is the Swiss flag, shaped like a map of the country, with black minarets shooting up out of it like missiles.

The cities of Basel, Lausanne and Fribourg banned the billboards, saying they painted a "racist, disrespectful and dangerous image" of Islam. The United Nations Human Rights Committee called the posters discriminatory and said Switzerland would violate international law if it bans minarets.

Alan Fisher, Al Jazeera's correspondent in Switzerland, said that there was a political message behind Sunday's referendum.

"The reality is, as was described to me by a Swiss resident who is not a Swiss citizen, this is the right-wing Swiss People's Party sending out a message to Muslims: 'Know your place in Switzerland'," he said. "They believe, the right-wing People's Party, that if the Muslims get their mosques and their minarets it will follow on that they will want, perhaps, separate schooling and there could be a campaign to turn Switzerland, of all places, into a place that practices Sharia."

The Swiss government and business leaders have opposed a minaret ban, saying it would be harmful to the country's image abroad and disastrous for the Swiss economy."

-Al Jazeera English.

I wonder how much of an economic bloom Switzerland expects from this. And who's the one being the 'extremists' in this case?

ENG: http://tinyurl.com/yl3coo7
DE: http://tinyurl.com/yf9nugu
FR: http://bit.ly/7dxhQo

2012

'Hollywood bullshit has won over Bollywood bullshit in the form of 2012' - A status I saw on my Facebook live feed a couple of days ago. A bit harsh, I thought. I've since understood what he meant.

I don't even need to include spoilers to prove his point. Watch the film's trailer and you'll get a gist of how overtly dramatic and preposterous the entire film was. Evading the town in a cramped car in spite of the earthquakes, and escaping two collapsing buildings on a small jet - You have to be some sort of a modern day Moses to be able to escape that extent of wrath Mother Nature has showed. There were too much fancy schmancy going on in the film that they forgot to instill realism in what was happening. Or maybe that was the style that director Roland Emmerich was going for. Perhaps it was his subtle way of conveying his amusement at the silly concept of 2012. Who'd know.

What I do know is that director Roland Emmerich was the man behind Independence Day (1996), Godzilla (1998), The Day After Tomorrow (2006) and 10,000 B.C. (2008). What they all had in common were the over-dramatised effects, and a world destruction plot. So perhaps, Emmerich was getting a tad too comfortable with his overused recipe for world destruction on film.

Obviously the movie title doesn't even deserve to be named '2012', seeing that the Mayan belief of 2012 was merely briefly mentioned and the entire film afterward was nothing more than a major visceral thrill of effects which incurred about US$200million or more in costs.

So sit back, and enjoy the film merely as a visual rollercoaster but don't expect too much on the concept of 2012 itself. For the latter, you're much better off watching a documentary.

If anyone were to think I'd be able to believe any of the occurrences in the film, I might as well go as far as to believe that due to the extreme tectonic plate shifts during the entire course of world annihilation, Republic of Ireland ended up being next to Singapore.

M.I.A.

Technology is Evil

I'll probably be missing from this space for awhile. Or won't be updating properly anyway. My laptop of 3 years have died. Well, the external hard drive rather. No more warranty and no point sending it for repair or such at the state it's in now.

Hopefully I can start at a job soon instead of people getting all wishy-washy on me again. Sigh. And then half of my problems would be solved just like that.

Can't really use the netbook I've won either seeing it's for minimal use and I can't really work on the small screen for editing and stuff. So in the meantime, please keep letting people know about this netbook, so I could get some cash off it to last me for abit. - Click Here

I was pretty upset initially. I knew my laptop was going to die on me soon but I expected to have started this job by then and so I could save up for a new one. Alas, it died before my 'dreams' could materialise. And I was doubly upset about how the job's been wasting my time for quite a bit. It's like I don't even matter (which I don't, probably). Just my luck, I've not had a chance to meet a company which appreciates me and my capabilities. And I was triply upset, realising I won't be able to go on Skype with Riyan properly, complete with the webcam and the mic. Suddenly, my long distance relationship became far too long.

Well, sucks to be me at this moment.

Wish you all well and better luck!

France VS Ireland - Thierry Henry saga

Watch the videos on the left of the article for comments by Irish MP Dermot Ahern and former French player David Ginola's comments on the matter: Ireland outraged after French handball nixes World Cup hopes

In the Irish national soccer team's most important game since October 2005, the Boys in Green saw their World Cup hopes dashed when the prolific French striker used his hand to control the ball near the goal -- not once but twice.

The ball appeared as if it might go out of bounds, but Henry palmed the ball to his feet and then flicked it with his right foot to former Arsenal teammate William Gallas, who buried a header and stamped France's ticket to the 2010 World Cup.

Irish goalkeeper Shay Given ran to the referee, pleading emphatically that Henry had cheated. Such cries -- from players, fans, even from the Irish justice minister -- only grew louder after the game.

"I will be honest. It was a handball, but I am not the referee," Henry said after the match at Stade de France in Paris. - CNN

A bit more objective view on the matter: Link

Gigs

"READ THE DESCRIPTION:
MUSE was forced to play in playback during an Italian TV show about football "Quelli che il Calcio".
So they decided to exchange their instruments and positions. The singer became the drummer, the drummer sang and played bass, and the guy who usually plays the bass played guitar and keyboard.

Nobody (in the audience) noticed the difference.

Futhermore at the end of that fantastic performance, the host interviewed the drummer that was still acting as the singer, and even talked about his friend, Matthew, at the drum (he's the real singer)."

Hahaha absolute geniuses. I'm grinning to myself just watching that. The things they get up to. I really missed seeing them live here in Singapore. It was great to be able to work during the concert. It's almost like the chance will never come back again. Why didn't ___ bring down more of my favourite bands like Keane, Snow Patrol, Travis, and...The Killers back when I was working with them. :(

Oh job, where art thou? I don't like borrowing cash from people for something so expensive. It's too much of a risk for me to take lest I don't end up with that job. Sigh.

I know MUSE will be promoting their latest album, The Resistance, this time around so it's definitely going to be different from the previous gig they had here. But at the very least, I saw them live before. As for The Killers... I can't believe I'm missing them! Can't fucking believe it. Of all the bands, I can safely say the highest amount of merch I've bought from a band is The Killers. And, I'm not getting the best merchandise - those darned tickets. Unbelievable. I still remember the pains of not seeing Keane live after I have waited for them to come to Singapore for so long! Keep missing their gigs in Ireland too.

There's something quite screwed up with the relationship between my schedule, money, and bands coming down.

Fire

An acquaintance of mine blogged about her apartment being covered with soot from the fire in her neighbour's apartment, two doors away. The incident happened near midnight on Nov 7. (So technically, I'm a bit late). Just saw the video and I have to say, it's definitely quite eerie listening to the cries of help, especially the one from the maid who happened to be trapped. She's rescued and safe. Apparently, that's the maid at 8:20 onwards in the video. You can hear her screams earlier in the video. The loudest was around 4:30 in the video.

Incidents like this remind us of how important our home team is. The firemen and police officers who dedicate their lives to keeping us safe, and rescuing us when we're in need. Bless them.

Link

little thing in the sky

This space has been quite empty. Anyway, I sort of changed the layout of my blog to the new. So now, the addthis button works better for every single post. And some little other changes. I still liked a simplistic white only background so I'm glad that stayed. I can't seem to find a way to move my comments back to Haloscan though so all my old comments are stored on the Haloscan site but can't be viewed here. Le sigh~

Anyway, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was spent with Shera and Sharil, with Ron joining us on Saturday. Very cheap lazy meet-ups. No money spent on food since we ate home cooked food for most of the time, lounging around in Sharil's or Shera's apartments, watching dvds, or just talking. And yesterday was spent with me trying to do up Shera's CV and just talking. Who would have known years ago when we first met, that we would be this close many years on. Having known one another through a faceless virtual world in a forum, to our first meet up, and subsequent special little meets four times a year, to our very regular meets. And them being 4 years older than me, their experiences seem to prepare me for what's out there. Perhaps the reason I've always been so rooted to my beliefs and careful about my own future, can be accredited to them.

Anyway, yesterday night, was one of those unexplainable nights where I just felt defenseless and weak, and succumbed to my tears. It's the first time I came close to crying since I got back from Ireland. It hit me that my future is so vague and it might be a few long years before I get to end this long distance for good. And I just felt tired, last night. Tired of waiting for the days, hours, seconds to pass us by before I can say "This is it!" - This is the moment we've both been waiting for. Gra Anois Agus Go Deo.

I realise that life is more about time than money. Money can be earned, but time passes us by. You can buy money with time, you can't buy time with money. Once I start working, if I do start at all, I'd have no time to head back to Ireland to visit the friends and new found family I've grown so attached to. Not in another 2 or so years, at least. And that made me cry. A long distance relationship is difficult enough. Add to that, the long distance friendships and families. I guess I'll always have people to miss, wherever I am.

Still selling ASUS netbook. So do spread the word: http://www.phing.com/listing/263421-BNIB-ASUS-Eee-PC-900-SD