In memory of the extended

I have a phobia of meeting my extended family. Being indirectly or directly included into the family politics, drama and vicious gossip. The term "extended family" has earned its stigma of people who're not close enough to know you, but close enough for their ignorant judgments of people to reach you. Pissing you off but at the same time, not enough for you to take action and put them back into place. You just, move along with your life with the pretense you've heard nothing but you've heard every single thing you had to understand the extent of their self-created drama.

It's sad that that's the way I view it now. It seems like the more I hear of them and the things they say about everyone else aside from themselves, the more I realise the extended family doesn't really care about you, they just use that as an excuse to add sparks into their lives through vicious gossip. It's like the paparazzi are to celebrities, that's what the extended family is to me. Nearly pests you can't really get away from. You get some good ones here and there, the rest are just out to make themselves feel superior while getting some new leads on a hot story.

I've never enjoyed family gatherings where they serve the latest skewed news on a silver platter, as I was growing up. Being part of it multiple times recently, didn't change my perspective one bit. I seem to exist at functions just as a formality. Nice to see certain faces, terrible to hear what most have to say. The saddest thing is, I don't feel a loss at all. I was never close to them. My childhood memories of them weren't the best either. I learnt the meaning of favouritism at a very young age, shaken about by people I barely registered as 'family'. I guess that was never rid of through those years. How can I, when they've never given themselves a chance to get to know me and continue pushing me away with the things they do or say unto myself and everyone else?

Sure enough I know they're happy the way they are, and probably are nice to people they want to be to. But it's not me. And as long as I get my own space, I'm quite fine with it.